Grief Navigation Basics

MEMORIAL RITUAL OPTIONS — choose what fits:

LOW-KEY / PRIVATE:
[ ] Write a letter to the person/relationship/life chapter
    that ended. Don't send it anywhere. Write until you
    have nothing left to say. Save it or burn it.
[ ] Create a photo collection — a folder, album, or box.
    The act of gathering is itself a ritual.
[ ] Cook their favorite meal on a significant date.
[ ] Establish a regular small gesture: light a candle,
    sit in a particular spot, say something to them.
    Rituals work because they're repeated.

SHARED / COMMUNITY:
[ ] A gathering without it being a formal memorial --
    "I'd like people who loved [name] to have dinner
    together." Simple, no agenda.
[ ] Ask each person present to share one specific memory.
    Not a eulogy — a story. The smaller the better.

FOR ONGOING GRIEF:
[ ] Set a specific time for grief. 15-20 minutes per day
    where you let yourself feel it fully. When grief
    intrudes at other times, write a note: "I'll bring
    this to my grief time." This sounds clinical.
    It works.
[ ] Create a "continuing bonds" practice: a small way
    to keep connection without being consumed by absence.
    A photo in your workspace. A phrase they used.
    Something that says: you are not forgotten.

GRIEF VS COMPLICATED GRIEF VS DEPRESSION:

NORMAL GRIEF — difficult but not requiring clinical intervention:
  - Waves of sadness, crying, numbness
  - Difficulty concentrating
  - Changes in sleep and appetite
  - Gradual, non-linear improvement over months
  - Able to function (even if barely) in daily life

COMPLICATED GRIEF (Prolonged Grief Disorder) — needs professional support:
  - Intense grief undiminished after 6+ months (12+ months
    for loss of a spouse or child)
  - Unable to accept that the loss happened
  - Bitterness or anger that does not reduce
  - Feeling that life is meaningless without the person
  - Unable to engage with life at all (not low — absent)
  - Intrusive images of the death (for traumatic loss)

DEPRESSION — needs clinical evaluation:
  - Persistent hopelessness (not just about the loss --
    about everything)
  - Inability to feel anything positive at all, for weeks
  - Thoughts of suicide or self-harm
  - Complete inability to function (can't get out of bed,
    no self-care, not eating for days)
  Note: grief and depression can coexist and reinforce
  each other. One diagnosis doesn't rule out the other.

IF THOUGHTS OF SELF-HARM: call or text 988 immediately.

WHERE TO FIND SUPPORT:

Grief-specific therapy:
  - Look for a therapist trained in grief or with a
    specialization in bereavement
  - Psychology Today therapist finder: psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
    (filter by "grief" specialty)

Support groups (often free):
  - GriefShare: griefshare.org — faith-based groups in most areas
  - What's Your Grief online community: whatsyourgrief.com
  - Reddit: r/grief — anonymous peer support, 24/7
  - Hospice organizations often offer free community
    grief support — search "[your area] hospice grief support"

Affordable therapy:
  - Open Path Collective: openpathcollective.org ($30-80/session)
  - Community mental health centers: sliding scale
  - NAMI Helpline: 1-800-950-NAMI (free navigation support)

grief:
  loss_type: null        # death | relationship | job | other
  loss_description: null
  loss_date: null
  protocol_start_date: null
  rituals_created: []
  custom_responses: []
  support_resources_given: []
  checkins:
    - date: null
      functioning_score: null    # 1-5
      notes: null
  flags:
    complicated_grief_signs: false
    depression_signs: false
    self_harm_present: false
    substance_use_flagged: false
    professional_referral_given: false

triggers:
  - name: one_week_checkin
    condition: "loss_date IS SET"
    schedule: "7 days after loss_date"
    action: "A week in. No agenda — just checking in. How are you doing with the basics: eating, sleeping, having people around? You don't have to be okay."

  - name: one_month_checkin
    condition: "loss_date IS SET"
    schedule: "30 days after loss_date"
    action: "One month check-in. Grief is often harder at the one-month mark than at the beginning, because the practical support has faded and people expect you to be 'better.' How are you really doing?"

  - name: anniversary_prompt
    condition: "loss_date IS SET"
    schedule: "annually on loss_date"
    action: "Today is the anniversary of your loss. These dates are often harder than expected. No pressure to mark it in any particular way — but I'm here if you want to talk, write something, or just acknowledge it."

  - name: complicated_grief_check
    condition: "loss_date IS SET"
    schedule: "180 days after loss_date"
    action: "Six months since your loss. For most people, grief has started to shift by now — not gone, but different. Has it shifted at all? If it feels exactly as acute as day one, let's talk about whether some additional support might help."

  - name: holiday_heads_up
    condition: "loss_date IS SET AND (current_date is within 2 weeks of major holiday)"
    action: "Heads up: [holiday] is coming. Holidays after a loss are often much harder than people expect, especially the first ones. It's okay to modify traditions, skip things, or create new ones. What would feel most manageable?"