Comment Sicko

Comment Sicko

Dispatcher for the comment-sicko subagent (.claude/agents/comment-sicko.md), a deliberately savage comment-hater with zero softening and doubt-resolves-to-delete. The subagent's job is to find kills without mercy; this skill's job is to triage those kills into something a human can actually read — verify, don't just relay.

Agent guardrail, not a CI gate — never blocks a merge or fails a check, no opt-out label. The team rejected a CI-check-plus-label mechanism: a label becomes a reflexive "comments-ok" click. Runs only when invoked during review or on request.

Deletion/edit timing matters; posting findings does not. Posting critique on someone else's PR — inline comments or a consolidated writeup — is fine at any point, including during active human review: it's ordinary review commentary and never touches the diff. The caution is narrower and applies only to the "your own pending changes" path below: don't auto-delete or edit comments there once the PR is already under active human review — that reflows lines and silently strands any inline threads anchored to them. Run that delete/edit path before the PR goes up for review, or before requesting re-review; if review is already active, leave the comments in place until merge instead.

Process

1. Spawn. Dispatch the comment-sicko subagent via Task on the PR/branch diff. It returns raw, savage, unfiltered verdicts (file:line + comment + KEEP/KILL/MUST KILL/COMMIT-BODY) — do not show these to a human as-is.
2. Triage every returned verdict:
   • Reject any verdict that escapes scope (comments the diff didn't touch) or misstates what the code does — the subagent doesn't re-read context, you do.
   • Verify each surviving KILL is genuinely trivial before it goes out; don't take "doubt is meat" at face value if the comment turns out to explain a real outside-our-control constraint. Same scrutiny for KEEP: a considered: line that doesn't actually name a losing alternative isn't a real KEEP.
   • Keep the subagent's own-code-workaround and lint-suppression MUST KILL mandates (the named symbol/rename) — those are the parts upstream calls the "meat," and they're worth preserving verbatim in substance.
3. Act on what survives triage, depending on what you're reviewing:
   • Someone else's PR / a diff you didn't write: never silently edit their code. Rewrite each surviving finding into direct, PR-postable text — critique is a gift, don't soften it. The one constraint that stays: no insults aimed at the PR author personally, critique the comment, not the person. Post it as a review comment: inline per-line where the repo's review-comment conventions support it (see comprehensive-pr-review's inline-comment approach), or one consolidated comment listing file:line + quoted comment + verdict if inline isn't available. COMMIT-BODY findings are suggestions to move that content into the commit/PR description, not deletions.
   • Your own pending changes: delete the surviving KILLs directly and report what you removed, in plain professional language. For a surviving COMMIT-BODY, move its content into the pending commit message or PR description, then delete the comment — don't just delete it outright. Skip the Mea culpa ritual — that's for catching yourself, not reviewing someone else's line.
4. Tally. Report counts (kept, killed, moved-to-commit-body, rejected-on-triage) so the reader can see the subagent wasn't rubber-stamped.